Sunday 29 March 2020

Lost Keys and Many Tears

Say What now???
 

There are a myriad of articles about Corona Virus available so, I’ll keep this short. In a different life, I did some research, writing and training around resilience. One of the things that I learned was called Low Frustration Tolerance.

I distinctly remember the first time I experienced it. It was 3 days after my dad’s funeral and I had returned to America. Waking up super early because of jet lag, I decided to watch a DVD. I made coffee and as I was getting the DVD out of the case it snapped in two and was then unwatchable. I picked up my coffee went back to bed and stayed there for the rest of the day.

The disproportion of my response was lost on me till later much later. This week friends and family have commented about finding simple, every day tasks or difficulties much more annoying or emotional. Upset about the end of the tin foil, or the loss of the remote control. Crying about things that we would normally take in our stride.

Covid-19 has had a massive effect on the nature of the way we experience life. Normal Routines, habits and practices that influence our wellbeing have dramatically altered in nature. Even taking a walk has micro rejections associated with it as people cross the road or stand to one side as we pass.

Resilience, can be likened to liquid in a bucket and many of our buckets have holes in right now. Our resilience is more easily drained. Therefore something that we would have dealt with easily before like running out of toilet roll, or snapping a DVD have a greater influence over us. So, what can we do?

1) Name it for what it is. Once you realise that your reaction is not unusual but actually a very typical response for the situation we find ourselves in. it is so much easier to manage.

2) Set a timer to be upset. When I was crying over the disappearance of the remote control earlier this week, I allowed myself 5 minutes to just be upset about it. Then I had another five minutes as I wasn’t finished being upset. If you get to half an hour and you're still upset... Message me or phone a friend.

3) Create some new routines. One family I know is doing yoga at 9:00pm everyday during lockdown. Another group of friends is doing gin-on-line every Wednesday at 7:00. I’ve also written a list of fun things I want to do to treat or pamper myself to keep my bucket filling up during this unusual hole.

I’m not a doctor or a psychologist but I do know that low frustration tolerance is something that we are experiencing and something we can do something about.

Peace and Grace

Serena